So here is me, sitting on my bed in my room alone with a cup
of tea and a Cadbury milk chocolate. Today is 10 Dec which means that by 12 am
tonight or practically 7 am tomorrow I’ll turn 21. Officially 21 and I’m
freaking out.
How do I start this? Huh.. so two years ago I decided to fly
to Egypt pursuing Islamic Law and Studies here and since now, I’ve learned a
lot but first, let me give a short thought. I remember this is never my dream
but I vividly remember that this is always my dad’s since I was a kid he always
talking about this, and adores any alumni that come back from Egypt
particularly Al Azhar Uni.
So, my decision two years ago is one of the scariest and
gives a lot of anxiety. I remember not having a good appetite, stressing about
coming here but at last I just give it a go and two years later here I am.
Still alive.
Last year I made a poem for myself and this year I don’t. I want
something else. So I wrote this.
Being a young adult is never easy. It’s scary especially
with people like me who happened to have anxiety and ocd. Believe me, you don’t
want to be in my mind.
Right now I’m still figuring out what I want to be. What my
future is. Whenever people ask me about my future plan I always answer them
with anything that comes in mind subconsciously. I’m never sure. I’m not.
But with all of that, I’, so thankful for what I have,
experience and blessing given to me. Thank you Ibu, Ayah for all the support. There’s
nothing can replace all of your sacrifice to me, and all five of us. Thank you
all of my teachers, especially Ustaz Rafis who mentored me from I’m 16 until
now. May Allah bless your life and reward you with a happy life.
Being 21, I want to start wash away my worries over simple
things, and insyAllah start making a video. Post a YouTube video because I always
wanted to do that since I was 16 but never happened (never have gut) to
published and upload a single video from all of recorded video of me talking to
in front of a camera. I want to let go of things that scared me and face it
time to time. This year is another year I’m going to pass my exam and slaying
this real world.
And now, I know what I must do, and I’m going to continue
doing what I have to do and last but not least, whatever happened or haw far I’d
go… I still have a lot to learn. Wish me the best for that.
Thank you :)
