on TFIOS by John Green.

I just read the fault in our stars by John Green. Yes, I know I’m awfully late but watched the movie already. I know how to expect but the movie did move me in a way of watching a movie can that is why I liked to read. Reading gives you something more that you can grasp through it.

I don’t intend to write anything like a review or maybe it is but here the thing;

That book makes think lots of stuff. About death, dying, loosing someone you love. Something that at last all human will have a taste of it. Although that book portrays all of those in a different perspective than mine but I think the feeling (maybe not all) is mutual.

The uncertainty of all of that somehow so scary and caused anxiety but all I can say is, those feeling demand to be felt like John Green said pain is demanded to be felt and by that we can moves on.

Two days ago, my dad was admitted to HDU in Kedah Medical Center, due to problems in his lungs and that affected his heart. Alhamdulillah he’s okay now. The thing is, first; that is quite serious and I tell you, I cry a bit scared of anything that might happen. Secondly, I guess even thought I am aware of the fact that I’ve left my family few hundred miles  and might lose them in any time without able to be at their side but I’m still not ready for all of those probabilities. I am not and I don’t think anyone ever be ready.

Back to the book, I like the way the author convey the story. It is quite cliché in a way it is but still it is a good book for anyone who want to try young adult novels.

I guess this is it. Bye .

January notes?

So here we go. 

I just told myself that after brushing my tooth, while shutting down my laptop I want to sleep. End of story but now I’m sitting in my bed typing this. So as my goal this year to at least update this blog regularly; keeping that goal realistic is what I am trying right now. Even though I don’t really share my blog to people and that’s no point on doing that as my writing is shit.  Tomorrow most of my friends are going to Mount Sinai and Dahab which quite a nice place but I cancelled it last minute just merely because I don’t feel like going. Well, I still got time, 2 years ahead is quite plenty and may Allah will.

So, how is my winter break?

GOOD.

I went to Islamic Art museum which is quite funny to me going to a museum like we had a clue but discovering new things is awesome. Then we go to climb Bab Zuweyla tower, and it’s quite scary. Apparently I am an acrophobia person (scared of heights) but the scenery is worth paying 10 pounds. The whole days is very tiring but spend well.

International book fair has started but I didn’t go on the first few days as I voluntarily joined myself a 4 days program called WISE which I am glad I did. I must admit that at first I am quite lazy to fill up the online registration and answering questions but I managed to be chosen to be part of the 200 pounds program which I am grateful and happy I did joined.  I benefited so much on the whole 4 days and having the chance to meet such amazing person who clarify lots of uncertainty and blurred answer in my mind really making me full and literally, wise.

Picture is taken from WISE facebook page @WISE.Mesir

So, here I am again planning over tomorrow. Actually I got things to do but we’ll so hoe it goes. I didn’t regret not going there because my best friend is not going too so Book fair, here we go! Although I don’t have a full final list on what books I want to get maybe just wandering around there is better than hibernating huh?

Okay, I guess last but not least I just started reading the fault in our stars by John Green and yup, I know I’m late and I’ve seen the movies and reading it is quite easier. I haven’t read anything serious since last month. Exam demand a lots of my time on notes and tutorials. I guess that is all with half of my winter break and with this, I end my writing.

Adios.

When you rest you rust – Oscar de La Renta.

It’s been a few day since winter break and it’s a long time ahead of winter break since I finished the exam early this year. At first I don’t think that I want to do anything but realizing that I have tons of time and a seminar to go to that require a reading process of a mind-struggling books, I’m good.

So starting 3 days ago I’ve been filling my time with outings, finding stuff to do and I like my day planned at least a day before because I’m good like that. There’re plenty of movies, tv shows available but it’s seems so… time wasting. I enjoy killing my time with that but sitting for a few hours doing nothing is not my vibe. I need a better idea.

I actually put that saying of the late Mr de La Renta infront of my bed to remind me to avoid too much resting. I’m quite intimidated by the idea of not achieving anything but here I am.

*in the middle of this writing, I was interrupted of my junior asking for notes and question; apparently I lost my point but I’ll post this anyway.

Heyy! it's 2017 already !!!

Yes. My exam is done and all is well. Let’s just keep that topic away because I’m not really in the mood for exam. Yep, it’s already a new year and I lost the track of it since my examination start on the first Jan and end by now but I do make a resolution and let me make this clear, that my last year was realistic and 75% achieved. This year; it will be 100% (I hope).

                Know what, since then I’ve been thinking that my writing is so bad especially in English; with all the grammar and words while there’s no way I can learn English again properly so maybe I  should just self-taught myself. I’ve made a list of bunch of books I want to get at the upcoming book festival and I hope it worked *finger crossed*.

                Like the last year situation, I didn’t make any plan to travel while almost all of my colleagues are on their way with all-packed bags going somewhere while I’m still in my bed figuring which book to read and not feeling to go out or doing anything physical which in my concern that it’s not good and I guess I have to make a plan for this winter break.

                Did I tell you that I want to write more on this blog? Nope? Yup… this year I wanted to stick to the one-post-at-least-per-month and let’s see what’s going to happen.   Until then, see ya!

21 and still figuring everything out.

So here is me, sitting on my bed in my room alone with a cup of tea and a Cadbury milk chocolate. Today is 10 Dec which means that by 12 am tonight or practically 7 am tomorrow I’ll turn 21. Officially 21 and I’m freaking out.

How do I start this? Huh.. so two years ago I decided to fly to Egypt pursuing Islamic Law and Studies here and since now, I’ve learned a lot but first, let me give a short thought. I remember this is never my dream but I vividly remember that this is always my dad’s since I was a kid he always talking about this, and adores any alumni that come back from Egypt particularly Al Azhar Uni.

So, my decision two years ago is one of the scariest and gives a lot of anxiety. I remember not having a good appetite, stressing about coming here but at last I just give it a go and two years later here I am. Still alive.

Last year I made a poem for myself and this year I don’t. I want something else. So I wrote this.

Being a young adult is never easy. It’s scary especially with people like me who happened to have anxiety and ocd. Believe me, you don’t want to be in my mind.

Right now I’m still figuring out what I want to be. What my future is. Whenever people ask me about my future plan I always answer them with anything that comes in mind subconsciously. I’m  never sure. I’m not.  

But with all of that, I’, so thankful for what I have, experience and blessing given to me. Thank you Ibu, Ayah for all the support. There’s nothing can replace all of your sacrifice to me, and all five of us. Thank you all of my teachers, especially Ustaz Rafis who mentored me from I’m 16 until now. May Allah bless your life and reward you with a happy life.

Being 21, I want to start wash away my worries over simple things, and insyAllah start making a video. Post a YouTube video because I always wanted to do that since I was 16 but never happened (never have gut) to published and upload a single video from all of recorded video of me talking to in front of a camera. I want to let go of things that scared me and face it time to time. This year is another year I’m going to pass my exam and slaying this real world.

And now, I know what I must do, and I’m going to continue doing what I have to do and last but not least, whatever happened or haw far I’d go… I still have a lot to learn. Wish me the best for that.

Thank you :)